Out Of Synch

Any of you who are sci-fi fans will understand the idea of a phase shift in the time-space continuum. To catch the rest of you up, the idea is that there is something akin to frequency that synchronizes all the “stuff” within a dimension. Change your frequency and you’re in a different dimension or maybe at a different point in time.

Phase shift story lines are really cool because then the people or the aliens can be present but not fully visible, kind of like a ghost. But you can’t interact fully with something that’s out of phase with you, so it quits being fun when you decide you want to talk to someone or eat food.

For the past few days, since a little before we left for Orlando on Christmas Day for the soccer trip, I’m having these experiences of being out of phase. I first noticed it a few days before Christmas when I rushed around to get kids’ activities done and send them on their way to spend the night with their grandparents, then sat on the couch eating an orange and feeling pretty tired.

I totally forgot about a telecourse that night I had signed up for, and had been very excited to hear. When I remembered it later, the memory was like something in the distant past.

More to the point, it was like those dreams where suddenly you realize there’s a test you didn’t take for high school or college, and right now you have to go take it and you’re not prepared. The more frequent version for me is being told I have a final in a class I totally forgot about. I think back and remember I went two or three times and thought it was going to be pretty tough so I’d decided to drop it but I never filled out the paperwork. So I’m heading for the final of a very difficult class having no preparation.

I’ve been feeling like I’m forgetting important things and I’ve been feeling like I’m behind on a lot of things. I’ll think there’s a stack of bills I forgot to pay and run anxiously to the study and go through them. Once my heart gave a somersault because I thought I was two weeks past due sending one off until I noticed the due date was in February.

I fell out of phase again this week. I had an invitation to listen to an interview about personal service marketing for coaches on a conference call. I was happy. It sounded like great information and there was going to be discussion with other coaches.

Then one little thing changed in my schedule. It actually freed me up to pay attention to the call fully instead of squeezing it in, but I had some article writing I started doing. About fifteen minutes after the call ended, when I was telling my sons we could go get some dinner, I remembered the missed call. I felt like I was living parallel lives. It was like I had forgotten my “other self.”

I told a friend yesterday and she said it’s because my birthday is coming up. She said it can dissociate people and give us a disrupted sense of time. I don’t remember experiencing this before with birthdays but it’s a pretty cool explanation. She has studied a lot about shamanism, native spiritual beliefs, and ancient religions so her perspective is always mind-expanding!

Yesterday I picked up some paperwork to finish bookkeeping for a non-profit agency project grant. Ugh! Today I finished my on-line course in ethics and my on-line rules exam to renew my counseling license and then submitted my license renewal. With one task completed and the other set to finish, I’m filling much more in phase. I think I need to do one more thing before everything synchronizes again—but I can’t figure out what it is.

Maybe it is my birthday. Not sure. But I’m moving forward in little steps here and there, getting my writing done, and finding out how much I love the structure of biographies and documentaries.

More on that later when I understand it more fully and can explain it better.

May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,

Steve Coxsey

Time For Discovery

It was a week of questions but not many answers for me.

I like advocating for parenting models and child behavior management models in general based on respect for children and their developmental needs and stages. But people who seek help with parenting either have children with severe behavior problems, so it’s actually a therapy issue, or they are court-ordered to get parent training because they are abusive or at-risk to abuse. I don’t see that translating into parent coaching. One question, then, is How do I incorporate a passion for helping people respect children and mentor them effectively into my business if the target group isn’t interested?

I like individual coaching but realized I don’t want to have a business model where I carve out blocks of my time and have to keep them booked with appointments to maximize my profits. It would keep me from having a business. I distinguish a business from straight self-employment this way: Am I trading my time for money as my only means of earning income, or do I have ways to create and produce something and then sell it again and again? If I’m coaching as much as possible there’s not time to create the products for the business. Another question this week is How much individual coaching do I want to do, and how much can I do and still have time to develop my business?

The biggie, the one I keep coming back to, comes up when I think about marketing. I keep going backwards. I think of ways to get groups of people to hear my message and sign up for a free or low-cost event or product. But that’s supposed to be a step leading towards recurring purchases or a higher-end purchase. I haven’t figured out what that will be yet. I keep stopping myself and reminding myself I need to figure out what I’m trying to market before I come up with a marketing plan. My big question is What are the continuity, or recurring purchase, products and big-ticket products I want to sell?

I looked at taking a group coaching course, a small business coaching course, and an advanced skills course. So far none of them have worked with my schedule. I do realize one of the answers to my questions is to get connected with people building their own coaching and training businesses. Since that’s not working out right now, I will look into joining a coaching support group.

The other answer to my group of questions is to start moving forward. I have to experience and learn and try things out in order to find what will work for me. So action will help me find my way. Lots of experimenting and risk-taking are in my future. It's time for discovery.

Which leads to the biggest question of all. When will I start? I can’t wait to find out!

May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,

Steve Coxsey

Momentum

The checks I write for bills this month will have my new business name. Hurray?

Opening the account meant, of course, that I ordered checks. They came in. Everything on the other business account has cleared, so I can close it down and transfer the balance to the new account.

There’s this strange angel and devil on my shoulder thing going on. Except neither is an angel nor devil. They’re both annoying teenagers, I think, maybe junior high age.

One says, “Big deal. Same business, new name. That’s exciting? Woo hoo….”

The other one says, “Wow! That’s cool! Your brand new business! What are you gonna’ do with it?”

It is exciting, but not transformative. The business name keeps me focused on what I want my work to be about, so having the name in front of me keeps that idea in my mind more often.

Also, no explanations are necessary. I don’t have to say, “That’s a business name from before when I co-owned a child care center, then used the corporation for a couple of ‘business in a box’ ideas that didn’t work, then kind of used it when I was training to be a marketing and small business consultant.”

I just say, “My business is Discovery Lookout. It’s about helping people and businesses get new perspectives and new ideas so they can change and grow and accomplish big goals.”

Confirmation of the importance of the new start came by serendipity. When serendipity speaks, I like to listen. My web guy found a new color scheme based on what I told him and finished formatting my new copy. He sent me an e-mail earlier this week that the site was updated. Check it out.

Last week I noticed things were moving forward without much immediate effort by me because of planning and work I did in the past. This week, things became even more real. I’m not “thinking about” or “planning” or “ready to launch” a new business name or coaching web site. It’s done. I jumped. Actually, I planned the jump and put things in motion weeks ago, and suddenly this week I was flying off that cliff thinking, “Am I sure this is how I wanted to do it?”

Too late! Twisting roads mean you drive on and see what’s around the corner. It’s kind of the theme Michael Masterson keeps referring to when he talks about his upcoming book Ready, Fire, Aim. (I really need to get an affiliate link for that book, once I read it.)

It’s the power and clarity that doing brings to planning and imagining. I feel the power. I'm looking forward to the clarity.

Just after Iraq invaded Kuwait, the press asked then-President George H W Bush, “What are you going to do about this?” It was an impromptu press conference on a golf course, so he didn’t have a lot of time to prepare, and I laughed at his answer. “We’ll just see what I do.”

Now I get it. I have the general ideas and some principles and guidelines, but I don’t know step by step where this will lead me. We’ll just see what I do.

May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,

Steve Coxsey

Forward In Spite Of Myself

On Christmas Eve Day I put the paperwork and filing fee in the mail to rename my corporation “Discovery Lookout, Inc.”

I left Christmas morning with my sons for Orlando. My older son’s soccer team was in a soccer tournament between Christmas and New Year’s. We came back on New Year’s Day in the early evening.

The next day I had the confirmation from the State of Texas that my corporation has officially been renamed.

Yesterday I went to the bank to change my business account to the new name. New checks are ordered and I should be paying bills later this month with checks that carry the new name.

I had a whirlwind holiday season since we were out of town for over a week. I posted the final three articles for my Blog-Zine on Christmas Eve Day and programmed my autoresponder to notify my list a couple of days after Christmas.

Beyond that, I did absolutely nothing to move my business forward from about a week before Christmas until I went to the bank yesterday. My sons were out of school the week before Christmas and we had a lot of things to do to prepare for Christmas and the trip.

And yet, in spite of my limited time, big things happened. My corporation is officially renamed. My bank account has been changed and my checks will have the new business name. My Blog-Zine is complete for December and I’m on track beginning to write articles for this month’s issue.

It’s good for me to realize that my momentum is actually carrying me forward. I was starting to think, while walking around Universal Studios with my younger son, that I had completely stalled working on my business. Then at night in the hotel room, after the soccer game, trying to fall asleep, I was feeling aimless about the business overall.

But by following simple steps I planned long ago, and meeting a couple of deadlines I scheduled, even with a lower stress schedule I was moving forward.

Write it down and get it down. Plan it, schedule it, and keep yourself accountable. Man! These Coaching ideas actually work sometimes! Most importantly, they carry us through the times when our motivation, our vision, and our passion are taking a sabbatical. A very important lesson for me.

May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,

Steve Coxsey