Moving day for the TRAVEL LOG is officially here!
You will find all future TRAVEL LOG articles on my hosted website here.
This blog has been housed on Blogger for nearly two years. Back in June I set up a hosted website for my e-mail newsletter On The Twisting Road, including a sub-address for the TRAVEL LOG. Since then I’ve posted my weekly update on Blogger and on my hosted site.
This is the last new post I will put on Blogger. I will leave the Blogger site up with the archives of the TRAVEL LOG for a while as I move them to my hosted site.
I’ve already managed to move the first three months. It’s slow going, since I have to post them one at a time. I looked at moving the whole blog but the information I found was discouraging.
For anyone starting with a new business idea who is considering a blog, I have a recommendation. Having tried three popular formats, Blogger, WordPress, and TypePad, I have chosen WordPress. This is mainly because I can put the blogging software on my own hosted site.
If I had started with a free WordPress blog, I would be able to migrate the whole thing to my hosted site. If you’re considering starting a free blog and think you might want to host it on your business’ site once you’re up and running, I think that’s a good way to go. TypePad has a great structure and is very easy to use, and the information I read makes it seem fairly easy to migrate a TypePad blog to your own hosted site with WordPress software. But at this time, you can’t put TypePad software on your own site. If you want a TypePad blog, you have to host it on their server.
This week had the theme of packing up and moving, and I’m pretty sure it will be my theme for a while. Not only am I moving the TRAVEL LOG archives to my hosted site, I recently closed down my TypePad account so Anything But Marketing! is only found on my hosted site.
I even have a lot of packing and moving planned for my home office. I rearranged the furniture months ago and set up my workstation in the guest bedroom. I made a list by section of the room for going through books, files, supplies, and binders to sort things out and organize them. But that’s about as far as I got.
It’s sorting and sifting time for me this coming week. I will be clearing out old things and either storing them or tossing them out. I’ll be going through reminders of the successful child care business we sold a few years back, which will be bittersweet. I’ll also be going through reminders of the “business opportunities” I tried, including the ones that collapsed as the parent companies were taken over by the government for fraud. I’ll relive the foolishness, the gullibility, and the desperation that made me susceptible to those scams. And I’ll relive watching thousands and thousands of dollars disappear.
It’s gonna’ be a tough week. And it will probably take more than one week to get it all sorted out. But once I’m done and my office is focused on my coaching and training business, I won’t have to dig through bad memories to find my telephone bill or the stapler. I’ll be focused on the future and on a business I chose after a long process of listening to my gifts, talents, and passions.
That’s the vision I will hold in front of me to keep me going as I clear out the clutter of the past.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Showing posts with label the vision thing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the vision thing. Show all posts
Monday, October 13, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Reprieve From The Muck
Great news! The articles and assignments I was reading for the Finding Your True Calling study group were the wrong ones! The wrong page numbers were sent out by mistake. So all that muckiness wasn’t necessary, and thank goodness I can forget about it. Except I can’t, and I shouldn’t.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Mucky Times
Every week in this blog I try to reflect on what I’ve learned as a solo entrepreneur, whether it’s planning or purpose or new technology. This week I’m still too much in the process of discovery to be able to share much insight or any conclusions. I’ve been spending more time exploring the exercises for the Finding Your True Calling study group. I stirred up a lot of memories and powerful feelings about my past careers. I’m in the mucky process of self-discovery, and I think it’s important to let you know it’s difficult and confusing at times. It’s too raw and too personal and too cluttered to explain yet, but I think it’s leading me to more continuity and to greater clarity with my purpose and vision going forward.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Monday, September 1, 2008
Labor Day
My day to post this entry will be Labor Day. That’s a day set aside to celebrate the labor movement and workers’ rights. It’s also a day many people see as the official end of summer – at least the more relaxed vacation season. For many it’s the start of the year, since school is back in. It’s back to work time! What a rich irony for those of us who are creating work around our lives instead of fitting our lives in around work.
Our older son has gotten an after-school job at the local grocery store. He has soccer practice and games (I think I’ve mentioned that a time or twenty) that limit his availability so he’s tried to be very clear about when he’s available to work. His one certainty was that he wouldn’t work on Sunday. It’s a family day and it’s very often a soccer game day so it was off the table.
When he checked his schedule for the week on Saturday it was the same as the previous week. He saw it while working that evening. When he came home he said he would have to go up after his soccer game Sunday to change it because of soccer practice conflicts. When he got home from his game on Sunday around 5:00, he had a voice mail on his phone saying he was scheduled to work from 3:00 to 11:00. He quickly showered and rushed off to work without any food – he hadn’t eaten since around noon on the way to the game – and without the chance to have water or a sport drink with him at work.
I don’t want my son hating his job. I want him to be treated with some basic respect and decency and I want him to connect earning money with his goal of having his own car. I even want him to see the value of increasing his earnings through education and specialization and entrepreneurship. But I don’t want him to hate this job!
We told him that, if they don’t get the schedule worked out where he won’t be working right after he’s been playing soccer, he’s going to have to quit the job. The scheduler said what she was told about his availability and what he told the manager during his interview were different, but it’s straightened out now. In one week of a part-time job he’s experienced the essence of the drudgery of corporate America. Poor communication, insincere commitments, and passing the buck so the lowest guy on the ladder carries the responsibility of other people’s mistakes. Eureka!
My wife told me many people she’s talked to in the past few months who have high school and college age kids working report similar stories. Their sons and daughters are given schedules that don’t match what they’ve said they’re available to do, and they’re expected to work or they’ll risk losing the job. A friend of mine has been hearing similar stories, as well.
I’m getting feisty! The labor movement brought significant improvements to the workplace, but it’s still a workplace. The sense of an adversarial relationship between employees and supervisors lives on in too many places. Even a high paying job with great benefits is still “a gilded cage,” as my friend Henry says.
I have a renewed passion for spreading the American revolution by helping people find their calling, discover how they bring value to other people, and make their living doing something they love. Whether that’s a creative job with a lot of freedom, self-employment, a small business, or multiple profit centers, it’s freedom from being treated like a number. It’s the freedom to respect what we do, and to work with honor and dignity. It’s the freedom to own our own work and take charge of our lives. The ultimate labor movement is entrepreneurship!
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Our older son has gotten an after-school job at the local grocery store. He has soccer practice and games (I think I’ve mentioned that a time or twenty) that limit his availability so he’s tried to be very clear about when he’s available to work. His one certainty was that he wouldn’t work on Sunday. It’s a family day and it’s very often a soccer game day so it was off the table.
When he checked his schedule for the week on Saturday it was the same as the previous week. He saw it while working that evening. When he came home he said he would have to go up after his soccer game Sunday to change it because of soccer practice conflicts. When he got home from his game on Sunday around 5:00, he had a voice mail on his phone saying he was scheduled to work from 3:00 to 11:00. He quickly showered and rushed off to work without any food – he hadn’t eaten since around noon on the way to the game – and without the chance to have water or a sport drink with him at work.
I don’t want my son hating his job. I want him to be treated with some basic respect and decency and I want him to connect earning money with his goal of having his own car. I even want him to see the value of increasing his earnings through education and specialization and entrepreneurship. But I don’t want him to hate this job!
We told him that, if they don’t get the schedule worked out where he won’t be working right after he’s been playing soccer, he’s going to have to quit the job. The scheduler said what she was told about his availability and what he told the manager during his interview were different, but it’s straightened out now. In one week of a part-time job he’s experienced the essence of the drudgery of corporate America. Poor communication, insincere commitments, and passing the buck so the lowest guy on the ladder carries the responsibility of other people’s mistakes. Eureka!
My wife told me many people she’s talked to in the past few months who have high school and college age kids working report similar stories. Their sons and daughters are given schedules that don’t match what they’ve said they’re available to do, and they’re expected to work or they’ll risk losing the job. A friend of mine has been hearing similar stories, as well.
I’m getting feisty! The labor movement brought significant improvements to the workplace, but it’s still a workplace. The sense of an adversarial relationship between employees and supervisors lives on in too many places. Even a high paying job with great benefits is still “a gilded cage,” as my friend Henry says.
I have a renewed passion for spreading the American revolution by helping people find their calling, discover how they bring value to other people, and make their living doing something they love. Whether that’s a creative job with a lot of freedom, self-employment, a small business, or multiple profit centers, it’s freedom from being treated like a number. It’s the freedom to respect what we do, and to work with honor and dignity. It’s the freedom to own our own work and take charge of our lives. The ultimate labor movement is entrepreneurship!
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Monday, August 11, 2008
When Discovery Is The Destination
I’m reading The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Families
by Stephen Covey. Since I’ve been a proponent of personal growth and development for most of my adult life, it surprises even me that I haven’t read a complete Covey book before. I think it’s due in part to my suspicion of “quick-fix gurus” and I mistakenly thought Covey slid into that category. Also, since I heard about him in a corporate management context, I wasn’t very interested. I wasn’t thinking creatively or expansively. Yeah, I know.
One Covey theme I knew already was “begin with the end in mind.” I embrace that approach when I ask one of my favorite questions, “To what end?” In this book he uses analogies of trips without maps and construction without blueprints. If you don’t know where you’re headed, you’re not going to get there. Fair enough. But lately I’ve been hearing people’s struggles as they try to figure out the work they’re born to do. They’re ready for change but don’t know where to head yet. How do they begin?
There are real and compelling stories about people who were working, often pretty successfully, at a job that was unsatisfying and unfulfilling. So these people made radical changes in their lives, changed careers, often to something unique and creative, and are now enjoying what they do and feeling more alive. These stories resonate in the hearts of those of us who believe in fulfillment but think ours feels like a faint memory of a dream. We think, “I want that, too!” And we look for the path to get to it.
The path is laid out. Take time to remember what naturally intrigues you, the things other people can tell are your gifts; think about ways to offer that to other people as products or services; come up with a reasonable plan to gather information and start doing the new thing part-time; and then grow it so it can replace your income and you can do it full-time.
It sounds reasonable. It makes perfect sense. And then a lot of us get stuck on the first step. While other people are in some sort of Mastermind group or other support format to keep them moving forward as they plan and then start a new career, we’re watching from the sidelines as they carry their certainty and enthusiasm thinking, “How’d they do that?”
The discussions I have with other people in this same situation point to something missing. Coaching is available for people who have a vision and maybe a goal in mind but need help developing a plan and implementing it. Therapy is available for people who are so overwhelmed by stress, depression, or self-defeating doubts that they don’t think they can make any changes at all. But what’s available for the people with normal anxiety and normal doubts who just don’t have any idea what kind of work they would enjoy?
As my wordsmith friend Darcy put it, “I wish there was someone who could just help me talk my dream out of myself.”
And this, alas, is my conundrum. What do we call that field?
As I went through the self-discovery process to find what work was a natural fit for me, I realized this is what I most want to do – help people rediscover their dreams and make them real. I thought that would be counseling. Counseling is broadly about promoting healthy growth and development. Many of the techniques of counseling were developed to help with insight and self-awareness, from the belief that increased self-awareness increases opportunities and personal control, leading to greater ability and mastery and freedom. It’s the path to self-actualization.
But counseling has become mostly psychotherapy. The guidelines for Licensed Professional Counselors in my state are written almost solely around the practice of therapy, so much so that when I called to ask questions about how to practice counseling that is not reparative or based in assessment and diagnosis, the people at the licensing board didn’t have clear answers and weren’t sure. The questions were new to them, which tells me the idea is pretty rare.
I'm still enthusiastic about coaching and am studying it because it includes a lot of personal discovery and self-awareness, but it is biased towards achieving goals so much so that the insight and awareness are almost by-products, not a primary focus.
The resolution? I don’t have a clear one yet. But I plan to struggle with the definition of a career that includes activities and steps that are focused on self-discovery and expanding insight. In a world where we are cautioned that we are more often “human doings” than “human beings,” it should be possible to make it a priority to become better at being. It should also be possible to honor the value of expanding self-awareness and insight through a process of self-discovery.
I’m certain there are a lot of people who need this, including all of us who have struggled or are still struggling with figuring out our natural work. There is an intersection of personal growth coaching and personal growth counseling. But there aren’t any streetlights here. I’m going to have to get out my flashlight and sketch what it looks like.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
by Stephen Covey. Since I’ve been a proponent of personal growth and development for most of my adult life, it surprises even me that I haven’t read a complete Covey book before. I think it’s due in part to my suspicion of “quick-fix gurus” and I mistakenly thought Covey slid into that category. Also, since I heard about him in a corporate management context, I wasn’t very interested. I wasn’t thinking creatively or expansively. Yeah, I know.One Covey theme I knew already was “begin with the end in mind.” I embrace that approach when I ask one of my favorite questions, “To what end?” In this book he uses analogies of trips without maps and construction without blueprints. If you don’t know where you’re headed, you’re not going to get there. Fair enough. But lately I’ve been hearing people’s struggles as they try to figure out the work they’re born to do. They’re ready for change but don’t know where to head yet. How do they begin?
There are real and compelling stories about people who were working, often pretty successfully, at a job that was unsatisfying and unfulfilling. So these people made radical changes in their lives, changed careers, often to something unique and creative, and are now enjoying what they do and feeling more alive. These stories resonate in the hearts of those of us who believe in fulfillment but think ours feels like a faint memory of a dream. We think, “I want that, too!” And we look for the path to get to it.
The path is laid out. Take time to remember what naturally intrigues you, the things other people can tell are your gifts; think about ways to offer that to other people as products or services; come up with a reasonable plan to gather information and start doing the new thing part-time; and then grow it so it can replace your income and you can do it full-time.
It sounds reasonable. It makes perfect sense. And then a lot of us get stuck on the first step. While other people are in some sort of Mastermind group or other support format to keep them moving forward as they plan and then start a new career, we’re watching from the sidelines as they carry their certainty and enthusiasm thinking, “How’d they do that?”
The discussions I have with other people in this same situation point to something missing. Coaching is available for people who have a vision and maybe a goal in mind but need help developing a plan and implementing it. Therapy is available for people who are so overwhelmed by stress, depression, or self-defeating doubts that they don’t think they can make any changes at all. But what’s available for the people with normal anxiety and normal doubts who just don’t have any idea what kind of work they would enjoy?
As my wordsmith friend Darcy put it, “I wish there was someone who could just help me talk my dream out of myself.”
And this, alas, is my conundrum. What do we call that field?
As I went through the self-discovery process to find what work was a natural fit for me, I realized this is what I most want to do – help people rediscover their dreams and make them real. I thought that would be counseling. Counseling is broadly about promoting healthy growth and development. Many of the techniques of counseling were developed to help with insight and self-awareness, from the belief that increased self-awareness increases opportunities and personal control, leading to greater ability and mastery and freedom. It’s the path to self-actualization.
But counseling has become mostly psychotherapy. The guidelines for Licensed Professional Counselors in my state are written almost solely around the practice of therapy, so much so that when I called to ask questions about how to practice counseling that is not reparative or based in assessment and diagnosis, the people at the licensing board didn’t have clear answers and weren’t sure. The questions were new to them, which tells me the idea is pretty rare.
I'm still enthusiastic about coaching and am studying it because it includes a lot of personal discovery and self-awareness, but it is biased towards achieving goals so much so that the insight and awareness are almost by-products, not a primary focus.
The resolution? I don’t have a clear one yet. But I plan to struggle with the definition of a career that includes activities and steps that are focused on self-discovery and expanding insight. In a world where we are cautioned that we are more often “human doings” than “human beings,” it should be possible to make it a priority to become better at being. It should also be possible to honor the value of expanding self-awareness and insight through a process of self-discovery.
I’m certain there are a lot of people who need this, including all of us who have struggled or are still struggling with figuring out our natural work. There is an intersection of personal growth coaching and personal growth counseling. But there aren’t any streetlights here. I’m going to have to get out my flashlight and sketch what it looks like.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Monday, August 4, 2008
Humbled By The Twisting Road
Since the theme of my articles on creative work and self-employment is the “Twisting Road,” imagine how humbling it was for me to be driving on twisting roads for the first time in several years during my recent trip. It wasn’t very much fun, and it seemed like a huge nuisance.
My sons and I left a week ago this past Thursday and returned home this past Friday afternoon. It was a whirlwind trip that included college campus visits, four days of soccer tournament, a trip to the beach, and a long drive home. And it included stretches of driving through the Great Smoky Mountains.
Portions of the highway through the Smoky Mountains twist and turn a lot. They are not as severe as the roads in Arizona around Sedona and Jerome, or the roads in Arkansas around Fayetteville and Eureka Springs. But driving a Suburban full of luggage and soccer gear through the twists and turns while trying to stay on a schedule brought to mind my previous twisting road drives.
On the way to North Carolina I focused on the negatives of driving twisting roads. On the way back to Tennessee I focused on the positives. Here are what I remembered from driving twisting roads that apply to creative work and self-employment. I knew these things intellectually but hadn’t incorporated them fully into my work life. I hope I learned them at a deeper level this time so they “stick.”
• Mountains are annoying obstacles when you’re focused on a deadline.
• Mountains are beautiful and majestic when you slow down and focus on them.
• Twisting roads seem threatening and risky when you see them as something to confront.
• Twisting roads are enjoyable and perspective-changing when you look forward to them.
• Rain added to twisting mountain roads on a deadline generates anxiety.
• Rain added to twisting mountain roads with no deadline adds to the majesty.
• I automatically see twisting mountain roads as a gauntlet and get anxious.
• I have to make a conscious choice each time to see twisting mountain roads as an opportunity for a special experience, but when I do I am greatly rewarded.
The Friday we arrived in North Carolina for the soccer tournament I had just a few minutes to think about what I would write for this blog, and immediately my mind returned to the drive through the mountains. At that point I only had the anxious obstacle view of the road. I thought about the fact I named my newsletter and this blog after the Twisting Road, and for a while I felt totally foolish.
The whirlwind of preparing Friday night for Saturday’s game set in, and I didn’t have time to think about this blog again until we were headed home from the beach. Part of the reason was the good play of my son’s soccer team. They advanced to the semifinals so they were playing soccer for four days. We left for the beach shortly after their final game.
On the way back my mind picked up the self-deprecating thoughts about the name Twisting Road and I started haranguing myself again. What were you thinking? You drove tight mountain roads for a year and a half and know it can be nerve-wracking! But I thought about the reasons I chose the name, including the glorious views and breathtaking moments of rounding a corner and seeing a valley open below and mountains rising in the distance. The last leg of Wednesday’s drive was into Asheville, North Carolina in the dark and in occasionally heavy rain, through tightly twisting highway. It was hard to keep positive expectations up, but I resolved to enjoy the drive into Tennessee the following morning.
I did, although we had some heavy rain and a little light rain along some of the twistiest portions. But my sons were excitedly looking for hillbillies, and then trying to identify nuts growing densely on trees lining the ridge, and then spotting homes built near the many rivers and streams. Just before we left the twisting pass through the Smokies, we saw mist rising near the top of one mountain that was so dense it looked like smoke. I had been explaining to my sons that the haziness and blue cast of the mountains in the distance gave them their name, and had tried to explain how mist and clouds played a part. When we saw the dense rising mist after the rain no more words were necessary.
Following your calling is difficult. Being self-employed is challenging. Trying to have an authentic life is not all sweetness and light. It’s intimidating, it’s anxiety-provoking, and sometimes it’s lonely since it’s hard to connect with people down in their ruts. It’s a daily conscious choice to take the more difficult path, or to create a new path, and it is slow going. It is very demanding. But it’s also vibrant. It’s creative and it’s exciting. Taking on this challenge helps work be fulfilling.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
My sons and I left a week ago this past Thursday and returned home this past Friday afternoon. It was a whirlwind trip that included college campus visits, four days of soccer tournament, a trip to the beach, and a long drive home. And it included stretches of driving through the Great Smoky Mountains.
Portions of the highway through the Smoky Mountains twist and turn a lot. They are not as severe as the roads in Arizona around Sedona and Jerome, or the roads in Arkansas around Fayetteville and Eureka Springs. But driving a Suburban full of luggage and soccer gear through the twists and turns while trying to stay on a schedule brought to mind my previous twisting road drives.
On the way to North Carolina I focused on the negatives of driving twisting roads. On the way back to Tennessee I focused on the positives. Here are what I remembered from driving twisting roads that apply to creative work and self-employment. I knew these things intellectually but hadn’t incorporated them fully into my work life. I hope I learned them at a deeper level this time so they “stick.”
• Mountains are annoying obstacles when you’re focused on a deadline.
• Mountains are beautiful and majestic when you slow down and focus on them.
• Twisting roads seem threatening and risky when you see them as something to confront.
• Twisting roads are enjoyable and perspective-changing when you look forward to them.
• Rain added to twisting mountain roads on a deadline generates anxiety.
• Rain added to twisting mountain roads with no deadline adds to the majesty.
• I automatically see twisting mountain roads as a gauntlet and get anxious.
• I have to make a conscious choice each time to see twisting mountain roads as an opportunity for a special experience, but when I do I am greatly rewarded.
The Friday we arrived in North Carolina for the soccer tournament I had just a few minutes to think about what I would write for this blog, and immediately my mind returned to the drive through the mountains. At that point I only had the anxious obstacle view of the road. I thought about the fact I named my newsletter and this blog after the Twisting Road, and for a while I felt totally foolish.
The whirlwind of preparing Friday night for Saturday’s game set in, and I didn’t have time to think about this blog again until we were headed home from the beach. Part of the reason was the good play of my son’s soccer team. They advanced to the semifinals so they were playing soccer for four days. We left for the beach shortly after their final game.
On the way back my mind picked up the self-deprecating thoughts about the name Twisting Road and I started haranguing myself again. What were you thinking? You drove tight mountain roads for a year and a half and know it can be nerve-wracking! But I thought about the reasons I chose the name, including the glorious views and breathtaking moments of rounding a corner and seeing a valley open below and mountains rising in the distance. The last leg of Wednesday’s drive was into Asheville, North Carolina in the dark and in occasionally heavy rain, through tightly twisting highway. It was hard to keep positive expectations up, but I resolved to enjoy the drive into Tennessee the following morning.
I did, although we had some heavy rain and a little light rain along some of the twistiest portions. But my sons were excitedly looking for hillbillies, and then trying to identify nuts growing densely on trees lining the ridge, and then spotting homes built near the many rivers and streams. Just before we left the twisting pass through the Smokies, we saw mist rising near the top of one mountain that was so dense it looked like smoke. I had been explaining to my sons that the haziness and blue cast of the mountains in the distance gave them their name, and had tried to explain how mist and clouds played a part. When we saw the dense rising mist after the rain no more words were necessary.
Following your calling is difficult. Being self-employed is challenging. Trying to have an authentic life is not all sweetness and light. It’s intimidating, it’s anxiety-provoking, and sometimes it’s lonely since it’s hard to connect with people down in their ruts. It’s a daily conscious choice to take the more difficult path, or to create a new path, and it is slow going. It is very demanding. But it’s also vibrant. It’s creative and it’s exciting. Taking on this challenge helps work be fulfilling.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Monday, June 9, 2008
Ruts With Ornate Wood and Polished Brass Handrails
We got back from the desert Wednesday and I spent the next four days thinking about Spongebob. My kids love the show so I’ve seen a few episodes. From time to time the little guy starts shriveling up because he’s out of the water. That’s how my brain felt. I think it was the slowest to dry out and the last to rehydrate.
My slowly drying brain may be part of the reason I felt so out of it when I thought about my business during the trip. Another reason was the setting. We were in Scottsdale most of the time, staying in a resort hotel. It’s hard to relate to authenticity and people striving to improve themselves mentally, interpersonally, and spiritually in that setting. I realized my drive for authenticity and self-expression was nearly drowned out by the power of the communal rut – of affluence.
Driving past the Mercedes dealership, then the Jaguar dealership, then the BMW dealership and the Range Rover dealership, it’s easy to develop the mistaken belief that fine living is a motivation for people to become solo entrepreneurs. In reality, many of the people enjoying that affluent lifestyle have high-paying jobs and spend a lot of time worrying about keeping them so they can protect their income.
On another level, affluent living not only pushes people to live in ruts to pursue and keep high-paying jobs, it also dictates the rut for enjoying the affluence. The stores, the restaurants, and the resorts all tell us This is how affluent people enjoy their money. Fit in by liking golf, spas, high-end shopping, expensive restaurants, and deserts artificially turned into tropical oases. It’s what all the “cool kids” are doing! Then fit in by getting into the high-paying job rut, and fight like crazy to stay there because it’s tough competition.
This rut thing gets even worse. Over Sunday dinner with my wife’s family we were talking about a news report that Joanna Rowling, Harry Potter creator and billionairess, gave a commencement address at Harvard and there were protests. It seems the ivory tower snobs consider her a second-rate talent and would have preferred someone more literary.
Joanna Rowling is one of my heroes. She had a story to tell and she committed herself to writing it and getting it published. It is, by most accounts, the best-selling book series of all time. At a time when people were giving up on getting kids to read, thinking we had to “dumb down” books and shorten them, kids started reading novels again. As new books came out, longer than before, the kids kept up. Some learned the joy of marathon reading, staying up for hours reading through hundreds of pages.
What a failure! That poor woman will never make it.
I doubt Jo Rowling set out to be a huge financial success with her writing. She probably dreamed of making a million dollars, but could she have conceived of making a billion? She followed her calling and expressed her gifts and talents. She did what she was born to do, and people appreciated it so she was rewarded.
Some trailblazers are making a living, just getting by, but having a great time being rewarded in many other ways. Some have surprising episodes where they make a lot of money and then see the lean times. Some slowly learn more about generating money and increase their pay over time. And some have spectacular financial success and enjoy it so much they do it over and over.
The key difference is the purpose. If they are chasing ways to make money, they are in a rut and they will stay in a rut. They will make money in a rut, they will spend it in a rut, they will be flashy in the rut, they will go into debt in the rut, and they will be afraid of leaving the rut to find themselves.
The trailblazers are discovering and expressing themselves. When they succeed, it’s out of the rut. They spend or save their money as they wish, and they don’t fear losing status and a rut lifestyle so they don’t have to hold back and give up their dreams. They’re free to pursue their dreams and create their own success, by whatever standard they want to measure it.
They know that a rut with beautifully accented handrails is still a rut, and they just won’t settle for that.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Updated 06/10/08 with the Rowling address video links:
My slowly drying brain may be part of the reason I felt so out of it when I thought about my business during the trip. Another reason was the setting. We were in Scottsdale most of the time, staying in a resort hotel. It’s hard to relate to authenticity and people striving to improve themselves mentally, interpersonally, and spiritually in that setting. I realized my drive for authenticity and self-expression was nearly drowned out by the power of the communal rut – of affluence.
Driving past the Mercedes dealership, then the Jaguar dealership, then the BMW dealership and the Range Rover dealership, it’s easy to develop the mistaken belief that fine living is a motivation for people to become solo entrepreneurs. In reality, many of the people enjoying that affluent lifestyle have high-paying jobs and spend a lot of time worrying about keeping them so they can protect their income.
On another level, affluent living not only pushes people to live in ruts to pursue and keep high-paying jobs, it also dictates the rut for enjoying the affluence. The stores, the restaurants, and the resorts all tell us This is how affluent people enjoy their money. Fit in by liking golf, spas, high-end shopping, expensive restaurants, and deserts artificially turned into tropical oases. It’s what all the “cool kids” are doing! Then fit in by getting into the high-paying job rut, and fight like crazy to stay there because it’s tough competition.
This rut thing gets even worse. Over Sunday dinner with my wife’s family we were talking about a news report that Joanna Rowling, Harry Potter creator and billionairess, gave a commencement address at Harvard and there were protests. It seems the ivory tower snobs consider her a second-rate talent and would have preferred someone more literary.
Joanna Rowling is one of my heroes. She had a story to tell and she committed herself to writing it and getting it published. It is, by most accounts, the best-selling book series of all time. At a time when people were giving up on getting kids to read, thinking we had to “dumb down” books and shorten them, kids started reading novels again. As new books came out, longer than before, the kids kept up. Some learned the joy of marathon reading, staying up for hours reading through hundreds of pages.
What a failure! That poor woman will never make it.
I doubt Jo Rowling set out to be a huge financial success with her writing. She probably dreamed of making a million dollars, but could she have conceived of making a billion? She followed her calling and expressed her gifts and talents. She did what she was born to do, and people appreciated it so she was rewarded.
Some trailblazers are making a living, just getting by, but having a great time being rewarded in many other ways. Some have surprising episodes where they make a lot of money and then see the lean times. Some slowly learn more about generating money and increase their pay over time. And some have spectacular financial success and enjoy it so much they do it over and over.
The key difference is the purpose. If they are chasing ways to make money, they are in a rut and they will stay in a rut. They will make money in a rut, they will spend it in a rut, they will be flashy in the rut, they will go into debt in the rut, and they will be afraid of leaving the rut to find themselves.
The trailblazers are discovering and expressing themselves. When they succeed, it’s out of the rut. They spend or save their money as they wish, and they don’t fear losing status and a rut lifestyle so they don’t have to hold back and give up their dreams. They’re free to pursue their dreams and create their own success, by whatever standard they want to measure it.
They know that a rut with beautifully accented handrails is still a rut, and they just won’t settle for that.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Updated 06/10/08 with the Rowling address video links:
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Getting To Be The Decider
This week my main work was to make some decisions. Just writing that it doesn’t sound like much. But these were decisions that I had been considering for quite a while, so they were the culmination of a lot of mental work.
First, I decided I will use the current format of sections for my Chasing Wisdom Blog-Zine through June. Starting in July I will change the format to be more focused on creativity, personal growth, and authentic living. In my framework of Why? What? How? it’s going to be focused on Why?
Why? is about purpose, the reasons we want to change and try a different path. What? is the change we decide to make or the new path we decide to follow. How? is the way we make it happen, the detailed steps we follow and pieces of information we gather to make our What become real so we can honor our Why.
On The Twisting Road, my e-mail newsletter (e-zine), will be focused more on What? and How? The articles and tips will be more practical and more action-oriented than Chasing Wisdom.
I have been posting articles to my Anything But Marketing! blog on a weekly basis. I realized I don’t intend to do that long-term. I usually post ideas based on conversations with fellow coaches and service professionals. I will post weekly when I can, but eventually I will compile the articles into a larger information product and pull down the blog. It’s a useful way for me to gather a variety of ideas for the future. I will include the ABM! posts in the newsletter whenever I have a new one.
On The Twisting Road will be published weekly on a regular basis, with occasional extra issues for special events or product announcements as I develop them. I have gone back and forth, and forth and back, trying to balance my preference for a focused newsletter with my preference for not publishing it so often it becomes annoying. I am on newsletter lists where I receive multiple issues in a week. Too often I find myself getting annoyed by multiple newsletter issues per week. I am most pleased with newsletters that arrive on a weekly or semi-weekly basis. As a result of my completely unscientific research of a non-representative sample – me – I chose to have a weekly publishing format.
I will publish Chasing Wisdom monthly. I have been posting a section per week, for a total of four sections per month. That was a way to have weekly content for my newsletter: There’s a new section of my Blog-Zine posted! Since the newsletter has its own content and will be targeted a little differently, I can write Chasing Wisdom over the course of the month and publish it in a day or two.
Another decision I made was the format for my new business cards. I’ve been planning the new ones since I started passing out the current ones. I have streamlined my card to web address, e-mail address, and phone number. It’s applicable to my business as a writer, trainer, information publisher, and coach… because it doesn’t mention any specific job! I’m looking forward to learning what it’s like to pass them out, and to finding out how they will be received.
I clarified my decision not to focus on parent coaching. I realized I am passionate about healthy child development, especially psychological development, but not passionate about parents’ struggles. I think I will focus on training teachers and caregivers and coaching people who supervise them instead of coaching parents. I may offer parent training, if I find a market that will pay, but I will limit my coaching around promoting healthy child development to people who are also passionate about it and wanting to learn and grow in their abilities and understanding.
Whenever I take my sons to the bookstore, I’ve been reading Eckart Tolle’s A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61).
It’s somewhat scholarly so I’m taking my time with it. I try to follow along as he writes about “awareness” that brings people out of “unconsciousness” and helps to overcome the “ego.” To understand him I have to use a different system – Carl Jung’s personality theory, which is also complex and esoteric.
Tolle’s book gives me hope in this way: if he can have a successful career writing such cumbersome books about profound philosophical and spiritual ideas, and even train groups and provide individual counseling on them, I can probably have a successful coaching and training business that includes excursions into deeper purposes along with practical steps to improvement.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
First, I decided I will use the current format of sections for my Chasing Wisdom Blog-Zine through June. Starting in July I will change the format to be more focused on creativity, personal growth, and authentic living. In my framework of Why? What? How? it’s going to be focused on Why?
Why? is about purpose, the reasons we want to change and try a different path. What? is the change we decide to make or the new path we decide to follow. How? is the way we make it happen, the detailed steps we follow and pieces of information we gather to make our What become real so we can honor our Why.
On The Twisting Road, my e-mail newsletter (e-zine), will be focused more on What? and How? The articles and tips will be more practical and more action-oriented than Chasing Wisdom.
I have been posting articles to my Anything But Marketing! blog on a weekly basis. I realized I don’t intend to do that long-term. I usually post ideas based on conversations with fellow coaches and service professionals. I will post weekly when I can, but eventually I will compile the articles into a larger information product and pull down the blog. It’s a useful way for me to gather a variety of ideas for the future. I will include the ABM! posts in the newsletter whenever I have a new one.
On The Twisting Road will be published weekly on a regular basis, with occasional extra issues for special events or product announcements as I develop them. I have gone back and forth, and forth and back, trying to balance my preference for a focused newsletter with my preference for not publishing it so often it becomes annoying. I am on newsletter lists where I receive multiple issues in a week. Too often I find myself getting annoyed by multiple newsletter issues per week. I am most pleased with newsletters that arrive on a weekly or semi-weekly basis. As a result of my completely unscientific research of a non-representative sample – me – I chose to have a weekly publishing format.
I will publish Chasing Wisdom monthly. I have been posting a section per week, for a total of four sections per month. That was a way to have weekly content for my newsletter: There’s a new section of my Blog-Zine posted! Since the newsletter has its own content and will be targeted a little differently, I can write Chasing Wisdom over the course of the month and publish it in a day or two.
Another decision I made was the format for my new business cards. I’ve been planning the new ones since I started passing out the current ones. I have streamlined my card to web address, e-mail address, and phone number. It’s applicable to my business as a writer, trainer, information publisher, and coach… because it doesn’t mention any specific job! I’m looking forward to learning what it’s like to pass them out, and to finding out how they will be received.
I clarified my decision not to focus on parent coaching. I realized I am passionate about healthy child development, especially psychological development, but not passionate about parents’ struggles. I think I will focus on training teachers and caregivers and coaching people who supervise them instead of coaching parents. I may offer parent training, if I find a market that will pay, but I will limit my coaching around promoting healthy child development to people who are also passionate about it and wanting to learn and grow in their abilities and understanding.
Whenever I take my sons to the bookstore, I’ve been reading Eckart Tolle’s A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61).
It’s somewhat scholarly so I’m taking my time with it. I try to follow along as he writes about “awareness” that brings people out of “unconsciousness” and helps to overcome the “ego.” To understand him I have to use a different system – Carl Jung’s personality theory, which is also complex and esoteric.Tolle’s book gives me hope in this way: if he can have a successful career writing such cumbersome books about profound philosophical and spiritual ideas, and even train groups and provide individual counseling on them, I can probably have a successful coaching and training business that includes excursions into deeper purposes along with practical steps to improvement.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Friday, May 9, 2008
Purpose Is My Purpose
Somewhere in the past few days, I decided to write a new tag line for my business. The current version is:
Your Path To An Authentic Life Starts Here
The key idea that resonates with me is authentic living. Personal growth and development is about living authentically. It’s about uncovering your gifts, talents, and passions, and designing a life that incorporates and expresses them while honoring your values.
I realized this week, after writing an article for my Anything But Marketing! blog, that I keep coming back to “Why?” as the starting point for many things.
Why? To What End? What Is The Purpose?
These questions are central to me when designing my business, planning marketing, choosing a niche for coaching, and pretty much in most areas of my life. I haven’t read a complete Stephen Covey book yet – just chapters and excerpts – but I hear many people quote him when they say, “Begin with the end in mind.” It’s this focus on purpose, and the willingness to explore and question and clarify purpose, that compels me.
The purposes that interest me most are deeper. They are transcendent, they are creative, and they are spiritual. I think living authentically means honoring these deeper purposes. I think it means pursuing a connection with things that are eternal.
I am encouraged that Barbara Winter discusses the connection between spiritual purpose and small business success in her recorded discussion with Nick Williams called “Outsmarting Resistance.” Having focused her career on helping people find ways to be self-employed and start small businesses, she has been in a position to see many people pursue this path. She tells us the notion that you must either choose something meaningful and spiritually significant to do, or something profitable, is untrue. She and Nick have seen people become energized when they focus their businesses on things that are meaningful to them, and that energy has contributed to financial success.
Man, I hope that works out! If I have to choose between authentic work and making a lot of money, I don’t even think I can choose. I’m not sure I can sustain something for any period of time if it isn’t meaningful.
I really want this to be possible. I really want to find out that living authentically is the ultimate measure of success, and that it leads to financial success.
I’m sure that it’s true for many people. I’m nearly sure it’s true for everyone. I’m going to commit myself to making it true for me.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
Your Path To An Authentic Life Starts Here
The key idea that resonates with me is authentic living. Personal growth and development is about living authentically. It’s about uncovering your gifts, talents, and passions, and designing a life that incorporates and expresses them while honoring your values.
I realized this week, after writing an article for my Anything But Marketing! blog, that I keep coming back to “Why?” as the starting point for many things.
Why? To What End? What Is The Purpose?
These questions are central to me when designing my business, planning marketing, choosing a niche for coaching, and pretty much in most areas of my life. I haven’t read a complete Stephen Covey book yet – just chapters and excerpts – but I hear many people quote him when they say, “Begin with the end in mind.” It’s this focus on purpose, and the willingness to explore and question and clarify purpose, that compels me.
The purposes that interest me most are deeper. They are transcendent, they are creative, and they are spiritual. I think living authentically means honoring these deeper purposes. I think it means pursuing a connection with things that are eternal.
I am encouraged that Barbara Winter discusses the connection between spiritual purpose and small business success in her recorded discussion with Nick Williams called “Outsmarting Resistance.” Having focused her career on helping people find ways to be self-employed and start small businesses, she has been in a position to see many people pursue this path. She tells us the notion that you must either choose something meaningful and spiritually significant to do, or something profitable, is untrue. She and Nick have seen people become energized when they focus their businesses on things that are meaningful to them, and that energy has contributed to financial success.
Man, I hope that works out! If I have to choose between authentic work and making a lot of money, I don’t even think I can choose. I’m not sure I can sustain something for any period of time if it isn’t meaningful.
I really want this to be possible. I really want to find out that living authentically is the ultimate measure of success, and that it leads to financial success.
I’m sure that it’s true for many people. I’m nearly sure it’s true for everyone. I’m going to commit myself to making it true for me.
May You Know the Joy of Sharing Your Gifts,
Steve Coxsey
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